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Willpower is a MYTH.      

Symptoms of believing willpower will carry you through:

  • Have an ongoing list of tasks to help you get unstuck, and beat yourself up because if you were “enough,” then you could have done it by now.
  • Threaten yourself with an ultimatum and deadline to achieve those goals.  After all, your best friend’s cousin did it with willpower, string, and duct tape, why can’t you?
  • Tamp down that “stuck” feeling by doubling down on doing more, more, and more work that will surely move you along.

Instead by midafternoon, none of it is working, and you believe the problem can only be one thing:  YOU

No, dear one, you simply spent all your willpower. 

Depending on willpower is actually counter-productive, because it’s a limited resource that runs out when we most need it. 

WHY DO WE THINK WE CAN DEPEND ON IT FOR REAL CHANGE?

Eh, we’ve been told we could, that it’s the key to change.  STRONG people can, they say, and we take that as further proof of our lack of being enough.  Cue beating up on yourself. 

It’s not willpower that creates real change. 

What creates real change is healing your heart – addressing the deeper hurt that is driving the behavior bus. 

Instead of spending an incredible amount of time and energy questioning yourself, regretting the “mistakes” you’ve made, and beating up on yourself, imagine untangling the questions of your value, unburdening your feelings of guilt and shame, and unwinding personal and family issues.

I’ve spent decades working with clients and learning how to see into the heart of the issues and blocks that have kept them struggling. 

The answer is never willpower.  Nor is it endless therapy.  It’s transformation.

If you want to feel healed, whole, and unafraid to be YOU, email me.

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