Thoughts for the New Year

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How many of your past resolutions have been about your weight or fitness?

How many did you keep?

I had 40 years of resolutions to “lose weight.”  Since I spent every one of those years on the Diet Yo-Yo, obviously, they didn’t stick.  I’d start and re-start and abandon it and start again, and 40 years went by with my weight up and down – but mostly up.

Here’s the thing: 

The key to keeping a resolution is resolving the issues driving the behavior you want to change.  If you don’t resolve the issues, you’ll fight your tendency or habit forever because your need isn’t being met.

Not enough willpower in the world to overcome that. 

The issue driving the behavior keeps that behavior alive.  It wasn’t intentional, but behaviors develop when you need an alternative to what’s happening around you.  It’s how you learned to cope or what you fell into doing or what you picked up from watching someone else, and it worked for you in the moment.  You needed it then.

You probably don’t need it as much now.  We let go of a lot of things once we have better tools, and if you can identify it, you can make a different choice. 

First, thinking of the behavior you want to change, identify your earliest memory of that behavior.  What was going on around you?  What did you need that you weren’t getting?

Was it a shortcut?  Did you need some version of escape?  Were you anxious? 

We develop soothing behaviors like fiddling with a ring, twirling our hair, biting our nails, or going to the refrigerator.  What’s your behavior or habit, and where did it begin? 

Once you know where it began and why you needed it, how can you meet that need in a different way?  How can you resolve the issue?

Sometimes we need help unwinding those things, particularly if they came from a wound in childhood.  We need some outside perspective to put the pieces back together in a healthy and helpful way.

Then how will you implement the behavior change?  What support, guidance, or accountability will you need?


Even more – think for a moment about what it will look like when you’ve achieved it.  Imagine yourself at your goal.  What are you wearing? Who are you talking to?  What’s around you?  What can you do?  What do you see in yourself?  Got it?

How could that NOT be worth the effort? 

When you’re ready to work on that, let’s talk.  [email protected]

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