In addition to creating rules to support our nutritional goals, consider emotional rules as well.
“Emotional eating” drove my self-sabotage. How about you? So, if emotional eating drives that behavior, we’d be wise to create a few rules to support our emotional health.
Just as we get “creep” in our nutrition, we also get creep in what we say to ourselves, how we treat ourselves, and ways we do not take care of our hearts.
Think about it this way: What topics, words, memories, or experiences serve as emotional kryptonite to you, draining you of your strength and confidence? We retell stories, beat ourselves up again and again for the same things, and “pound” ourselves for things we’d forgive in others. Don’t we?
Whatever it is, process it, ask forgiveness, give forgiveness, make amends – whatever you need to do — and release it. I know this is really hard to do. Yet it doesn’t really help to drag it with you, does it? With pounding on myself, I added pounds to my body – not helpful.
Having a solid “confession” session with my coach was liberating. I felt ten pounds lighter and exponentially happier. See, it’s not so much what we did or didn’t do. It’s what we do with the memory, particularly if we’ve kept it a secret. We make it bigger and worse. Then we say things to ourselves we wouldn’t say to an enemy.
It’s a shame technique, and we think it will keep us from ever making such a mistake again. The shame can do more damage than whatever we did, and then we really need soothing. Twinkie? Bread? What’s your poison in those moments?
How do we stop that cycle? Make emotional rules. Consider these:
“I will speak kindly to myself even if reprimanding myself for a poor choice or mistake.” Imagine you’re talking to someone you love deeply and whom you want to succeed. You’d give them grace and mercy, so give yourself a bit.
“I will no longer tell myself or others stories I’ve told again and again that do not encourage me.” I lost a lot of my conversational fodder when I made this rule for myself. We think of it as relating to someone else, and it may be, but it’s also a subtle way of beating yourself up. You do not deserve that.
What rules would be helpful for you?
If you need a little help, contact me: [email protected]
