That one. The one that keeps repeating all the things they’ve always said.
What are yours? I’m (too) ____________. Fill in with your particulars: Fat, stupid, lazy, too much trouble, or whatever you know all too well. Those closest to us often said things that may or may not have been meant to stick to our hearts, but they did. And it was/is painful.
However, we still get to choose to focus on it or let it go. I know — And it’s absolutely easier said than done. We’ve had LOTS of practice with the negative stuff. It came to us so naturally, didn’t it?
So how do we make it just as natural to replace those negative words in our heads and hearts with something positive? Those negatives were reinforced over time. If we only heard it once, it didn’t stick, but the repetition glued it to your heart.
Ready for some glue solvent?
Set an alarm on your phone or computer to remind you of something positive and encouraging. About a year ago, I set one alarm. Within a couple of weeks, I’d set three, and I randomly chose 9 minutes past the particular hours. At each alarm, I said something positive to myself. I might repeat the same word or phrase for days, for as long as I need to hear it. Some I repeat at intervals of days or weeks, and sometimes it’s whatever strikes me in the moment. They may be very serious or amusing, at times a quote, a phrase, a word, or name something for which I am grateful. It may be a goal or a mindset I want to adopt, a change I want to make in my heart and mind, or a perception I want to change. Whatever it is, it MUST be encouraging. It must serve my needs and lead me in the direction I want to go.
We hear so much throughout our day that could be discouraging. Not only what we hear at work or home, consider how the news, television programs, even the comics can be cynical, dystopian, and gritty. I’m all for distraction and entertainment, but we are also bombarded with negative thoughts and images where we’re looking for stress release.
Finding a way to balance that negative made a difference for me in under two months. I was shocked, and I was very grateful.
What does your heart need to hear? Seriously, what thoughts do you need to eliminate or change? How are those ideas different, perhaps even opposite of the truth of who you are, your best self?
Be kind to yourself, and set an alarm to remind you of your best self. It can work wonders—or at least brighten your day.
When our hearts are beat up, sometimes we need some support to make changes that will help us. Enlist the help of a friend or family member you trust, or call me. I have a program to help you identify where you want to go and navigate the obstacles to get you there.
All the best,
When you’re ready to lose, I can help you win–