Healing Your Heart: Things that drive us to food for soothing
We get caught up in guilt, and that often drives us to soothing ourselves because it’s a heavy thing to carry. Food is so easy, and it works instantly even if relief only gives a moment’s respite. In dark moments, we’ll take it.
What if you let go of the guilt?
Hear me out – guilt is a healthy response. Holding onto it or using it as a “shame stick” is where it gets problematic. How long do you drag it with you afterwards?
We teach children how to handle this – go say you’re sorry, and then go play together and try not to repeat the offense. Adults have a harder time with this, as we sometimes do not accept forgiveness or may find it hard to forgive ourselves. Yet, if you’ve apologized and made restitution, why shouldn’t it be over? Learn from the experience, accept forgiveness, and live in that freedom.
I know. Like Cinderella off to the ball, it’s all great until midnight comes and reality crashes in. Hear the objections? What’s going on in your mind and heart right now? How are you arguing against your heart? Your best self? You probably do not deserve that, and if you’re a person of faith, we can have a deeper conversation about that.
Cinderella had quite the evening. That makeover showed her in her best light. Her fairy godmother didn’t do anything but replace the rags with fine clothes. Her heart was still lovely.
What if she had insisted on going in those rags? Dragging her shame with her because that was her “truth”?
Ah, but it wasn’t HER truth – it was circumstance. The fairy godmother reintroduced her truth. THIS is who she is, her potential, who she was made to be. When she was released from the rags that were not true of her, she was captivating, and her potential (and suitor) came looking for her.
We have to throw off the rags of guilt. The condemnation we live under for past errors is a lie. Learn the lesson and release the rags – how much soothing would you need if you were free of that?
I know this is a hard issue to let go of when you are really under it, so if you’d like to have a conversation about it, contact me at [email protected] You deserve better.