We’ve been talking about the tools we have at hand and considering why, perhaps, we “forget” to use them, getting clear on our goals, and believing in ourselves again.
We can’t really walk away from this thought without addressing an obvious element: Fear
As much as we believe we want to reach a goal, sometimes we are afraid
—of the result – maybe we’ve never been there before, and we wonder if it will fulfill all our hopes and dreams
—of not being able to maintain the result – creating another mortifying cycle of the Diet Yo-Yo
—of how others will treat us – will my nearest and dearest feel betrayed because I’ve reached my goal?
Will others sniff at my lean, healthy shape and either scoff at the ability to maintain it or diminish it with some version of logic that says it’s easier for me than it would be for them.
All have a subtle message: You don’t fit with us anymore.
—of how we will treat ourselves – can I love my new size, does it fit me, or will I unconsciously sabotage it?
I talk to a lot of women who have an underlying fear of being their definition of thin, and they unconsciously sabotage their efforts. They even know they’re doing it as they’re engaging in the behaviour, but they can’t stop themselves.
Here’s the thing: Like many fears, they feel real, but when we’re in our best selves, we see them for the straw arguments they are.
There’s a common theme. Do you see it?
Confidence and self-esteem — we have so little sense of our value when we’re not in our best selves.
Who are you when you are your best self? Make a list of qualities and habits you have when you are your best. Write it down. If you’re like me, sometimes you need a good reminder.
We all have times like this – maybe it’s when we’re with our best friend, our partner, away with the family, doing a particular job or activity. Even if just for a moment, you feel great. You feel free.
You’re not worrying about what size you are, whether others are judging you or not. You’re just being yourself, being your best, and isn’t that a lovely place to be?
Our BEST is the greatest tool we have, and we often forget it, and instead, we get caught up in our failures and insecurities.
When was the last time dwelling on your failures and insecurities helped any situation?
Doesn’t. Yet we do it anyway.
Here’s an assignment: Two lists: What helps you live as your best self, and what stops you from living as your best self.
Note: I’m not looking for places to lay blame – I’m looking for the places where we begin to set you free.