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Last week, I talked about getting stuck in a pattern, particularly as emotional eaters, and part of getting unstuck is to know what YOU need. Did you identify it? Did you go get it?
It’s so important to know what you need because we get accustomed to ignoring that. “My spouse/boss/child/grandchild/pet/friend/insert the appropriate name here needs something from me.”
Yes. And your good heart wants to meet their need because you want to help. That’s great. Truly it is. It’s unselfish, it’s kind, it’s giving. Sometimes it’s also survival, yes? If I get them sorted, then that saves me time later. Or if I get this done, I can reclaim five minutes to ___________ insert whatever your need is here.
And do you? Ever reclaim those five minutes?
My mother told me, “Always clean your room first.”
I thought that was a bit odd. Shouldn’t I start with the kitchen? Or better, maybe parts I don’t want to clean? Get that over with first?
No, she said, “Start with your bedroom. If you leave it to the end, that’s the part you’re likely to omit because it’s only for you.”
We drop our own needs thinking we’ll get back to it later. How often do you?
Yes, I know. It feels selfish to take some time to yourself, to prioritize your needs. And of course, it can be, but my guess is that you’ve ignored your needs more often than not. You’ve just got on with it and got on with it and got on with it, and now you’re not even sure of what could refresh you enough – like dry potting soil that just refuses to take water, it takes forever to get it damp enough to use.
We find those moments when we might take time to refresh ourselves and trade them for refreshments. Grabbing something to eat to soothe your needs is quicker. It will do for now. When that’s the only form of refreshment you allow yourself – because you can do it on the run, it takes no real extra time, “You have to eat,” you can do that and corral a couple of toddlers/projects/phone calls/the boss/the spouse/insert your detail here – well, it adds up, doesn’t it? Usually, on my hips. It’s something you CAN do quickly to soothe the ache.
We try to slake our thirst for joy, purpose, and peace with a Twinkie.
Here’s what I want to say: Your needs matter, and yes, you are worth it to get them met.
What happens to all those “insert your detail here” if you are no longer able to do what you do?
You are worth it.
Now, you’ve been doing it this way for a long time, so it may take some practice – no beating yourself up if you don’t do it perfectly immediately, right?
What do you need?
Go get that.
You ARE worth it.